on borrowed tech

It's a brand new year. Actually we are 19 days into 2007. It's usually in January that I think about my new year's resolutions. When we moved back to Ontario last year, I discovered loose new year's resolutions. Loose in all sense of the word. Loose because they were scattered and tattered among things., in notebooks, on sheets of paper that managed not to get crumpled or thrown out, on scraps of bits and pieces. Loose in that, the yearly resolutions seem to be the same, and loosely stated...lose weight, be healthy, stay on budget - are those really specific and have any meaning?

So this morning at 6:30 am, I am pondering about my life and my 2007 resolutions. I have realized a couple of things.

1. I need to exercise everyday. Exercising is not something that I do naturally, and naturally speaking, I am lazy and would be happy lounging on the sofa reading a book or just doing nothing.
2. I am a "glass half full" kind of gal and need someone to be the half empty kind of person to push me.
3. I do love to eat bread and cereals, so it's unrealistic for me to cut out those carbs forever.
4. It's been a long time since I have aimed for something, set a goal, waited patiently over months to 'save" for it. This is probably the basis of hard work. Do I do any hard work now?
5. I need to lose significant weight. I can't accept myself the way that I am anymore. I don't even recognize myself. They say that the camera adds 10 pounds, I don't think they mean the digital camera.
6. Somehow throughout the years, I have picked up more bad habits than good ones. Other than buying organic and preservative free foods, I can't think of a single new good habit that I've picked up. The bad ones are many. Why is that?
7. I am not too old to change. There is still time.

So what does this all mean? I think this means that this is the year of being me. The year that I have to be more selfish and do things for myself. These bad habits that I have picked up over the years are now a part of my life, but I don't want them to be a part of my child's life - so I have to change. I have to remove them.

1. I need to choose foods. I need to be picky about what I eat.
2. I need to exercise everyday.
3. I need to have fun and initiate playtime with Courtney.
4. I need to make a list of bad habits so that I can remove them.
5. I need to start saying NO.
6. I need to be more than a mom. Ja and I need to start doing things together again.
7. I need to stop being bored.

Through my early morning ponderings, I've also realized that I am not really happy with my life. Sure, there are things that make me smile, things that make me happy...but is it really a "thing" that I want to drive happiness? Though, I am not dissatisfied with my life, nor am I ungrateful for it, these days, the focus seems to be on happiness. So I'm being truthful. I need to change to be happy. I am not sad, dissappointed, unhappy, or even bored with my life, but to be happy with my life, not just life, but my life means that I have to be in it, interact with it, get out of being comfortable, and inject a bit of hard work and sweat into what I do -*everyday*

So, does this shock you? Are you reading blah blah blah blah blah? Watch and see. Call me on it. I probably need all the help that I can get.

It all boils down to this, for 2007, I need change. I need a change, I need to change, I cannot stay the same, doing the same old. I remember in a parenting class, an instructor once said, "just because it's always been done that way doesn't mean that it's right". <

> She was talking about the importance of stepping up to be an active parent of your child and to not get pushed over by "other" parents...specifically grandparents. There may be no right or wrong way, but there is still your way<

> But, back to the quote, I think it's fair to apply it to my habits, lifestyle the past 3 years. I've been doing it, but it's doesn't mean that it's right.

Over the next couple of days, I'm going to list ouf my bad habits, my YES foods, my glass half empty moments, even the things that I should be keeping. It should be entertaining and I'm hoping that it will sand me down and give me a half decent chance to put down some new rules for ME.

Do you do annual resolutions? Take some time, think it out, what's in store for 2007 and for you and it is really what you want out of life? Go ahead, be selfish and think about yourself for a change - and what would make you better.