Thursday, June 11, 2009

Last full day of school

I can hardly believe that today is the last full day of school. As part of the teacher's thank you gift, the parents are putting together an impromptu little scrapbook. Courtney and I worked on it the other day and the only thing that is missing is her picture. I found one from the first day of school and she looks so much younger than she does now that we had to take a new picture of her.

So here, she is...first day of school.

And the last days of SK. She'll be starting grade 1 next year! Wow!

Today is a busy day, getting ready for some guests. We are having a sleepover with Grandpa S and Grandma E as well as some special guests from England. If you are reading this Grandpa S, do pass on to P & L - that we'll be doing "cocktail night" tomorrow. We are looking forward to it all. Hopefully, everyone is hungry as I'll be cooking a real meal. I have rediscovered my old favorite Gourmet and Bon Appetit magazines and have decided that it's OK to allow old hobbies to come back in style. search of some good fish this afternoon.

Jeremy is snoozing. Since coming back from Sask. He's been sleeping in until I wake him for the drive in to CJ's school, then we come back and he has breakfast then about 10 he has a bottle and has a nap....until about 1:30 or 2 ! Seems like everytime there is a change, his schedule gets changed too. It's nice to have this block of quiet time, but difficult to get anything really done as there is no time to go and get groceries, run errands or play very much. I keep reminding myself to just enjoy the time, it won't last forever. To try and do the things that are important to us. So, I do. The house isn't much tidy, I still can't really keep plants alive or the cat's litter clean, but in the very end, when I'm older with a lot more time on my hands, I'm pretty sure that my best memories will be of the time spent doing things. At least I hope, I won't have regrets and wish that , "i had just made the bed that one time, or washed the floor more, or did the dishes", instead of just enjoying the moments with the kids. I have a feeling that a lot of what goes on in these early childhood years get forgotten and gently erased, but I will remember that I took the time to watch them, to smell them, to laugh with them and to see them discover the life that surrounds them and to make sure that they can count on me. Even though, I will probably not remember, the kids might. These are their formulating memories, the ones that they imprint on forever. It's these early days that will mold them, shape them and allow them to be great in whatever they do. Put another way, it's these early days that will mold ME, shape ME and allow ME to see their greatness is whatever they do. So, I have a job to do, to take care of their being, their vibe, their spirit and let it experience joy, thrill in happiness, feel the spectrum of emotion and believe in them. To protect their innocence, cherish their underlying goodness. and their unequivocal belief in you, their parents. In the beginning, you can do no wrong really. How great is that, when they are young, you get to figure out and practice yours skills as a parent so that when it really matters, you don't screw up as much. You are a more experienced parent.

Lately, I have been thinking more and more about the role and job of a parent. (haha can you tell?) The fact should be that it is not natural to know what the right thing is to do. For some of us, taking care of ourselves never really happened before we were thrown into the need to start caring for someone else. I think of nature shows on wild animals and how they always emphasize creatures that are "maternal" that stick with their young ( or rather allow their young to stay with them) and note that it's not the norm. It's easy to have babies to procreate, for the baby to survive and tell their story is something entirely different. So, I'm going to take these baby days, these learning days not only as a time when my children are learning but I'm going to be humble and take it as my time to learn too. Time really does just fly by and I'm hoping that if I start right now and take the time to practice doing it right, I might just wake up one day and realize that the kids are all grown up, I'm still practicing and it's been all good. I'm not waiting for "that moment" when it matters most. On a day to day, growth basis, it's all the little things that count. Some will argue that it's the big things that matter, but to be honest, I'm not sure if I will know what those "big things" are when they are in front of me. Will you? Did you? Probably in hindsight, but that's nothing new, everyone knows what they should have done. It's doing it when it counts that hard. Parenting, is so very multifaceted and importantly, the job ( if you choose to keep it) is lifelong. It's morphs and changes with age, but you can't get fired from it, you can only quit from it. It's one of those things where you are stuck with it for life, at least I think it is when it's done right. Stuck in the way that you are also stuck with your child loving you for the rest of their life....and that's awesome stuff.

Have a great Thursday everyone.

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